College is starting soon and the packing and travelling has begun. And all of this busy work has made me put into words what I’ve known for awhile.
I’m terrible at being an “adult”.
You might be wondering why I put the word “adult” in quotations. Well…being an adult is kind of hard to define. Younger kids sometimes have to grow up faster to survive. My mom went through that. So the idea of what an adult is…is kind of vague, don’t you think?
Well, anyways…I’m terrible at “adult”-like activities…like laundry and packing and planning.
I can’t seem to function like a normal human “adult” being. I prioritize the wrong things, I have no idea how to pack stuff in a suitcase, and I am terrible at being organized. I’ll spend hours packing one suitcase simply because I don’t know what to put in first. I’ll stare at a fridge for a long time wondering where to put it when I have more pressing matters to attend to.
I could go on and on…but you get the point. Actually doing the “adult” things that parents do is difficult for me…or at least I take way longer than my parents.
Do I just have no common sense? Am I just bad at visualizing objects? I seem to focus on the smaller details and ignore the big picture. I seem to feel overwhelmed when there’s too much important stuff to think about.
Part of me thinks that it’s just my autism focusing on the little things. Or my autistic self being overwhelmed by all of the stimuli. Part of me thinks that I’m simply not a 3D visual thinker. I’ve always visualized things in 2D in my head, which is why drawing random things comes naturally. But I have always struggled with 3D things. (LEGOs, ceramics, play-doh…you name it.)
Of course, being an “adult” is seemingly a big trend amoung the younger generation. I’ve seen countless stories of people not knowing how to do laundry, or struggling to become an “adult”.
Perhaps, like generations before us, we simply need to get used to it. I mean, my mom told me that she simply just got the hang of it when it comes to motherhood. That she got used to the planning and oversight you need to be a responsible “adult.”
Or maybe I’ll never get used to it. Maybe I’ll simply never “grow up”. Like Peter Pan.
Time will only tell, right?